Most parents do not want to be a burden to their children. They also want to maintain their own lives and live with dignity, as independently as they can. Sure there is a realization that their home may no longer be the best option. But before mom and her children think of building a “granny room” or guest house, really review all the factors.

There are benefits and then again there are real obstacles.

Very few daughters and sons have a lifestyle where they can set aside their own lives, take a backseat to their own commitments and make room for their parent(s).  There are a lot of areas to think about at this stage. Psychologically your “mom” is dealing with the lack of independence that this type of move would create. Also the physical adaptations that may have to be made to the home may be astronomical.  Is the house two story… can mom manage the stairs?  Are the hallways too narrow to navigate with a wheelchair, do you have safety rails throughout the home? Are you able to meet mom’s changing aging needs … social, psychological and physical?

Are you willing to give up your own privacy and turn back the clock to when mom wanted to know where you were going and what time you would be home?  I suggest that you have conversation that is forthright and involve each member of your family in the household. 

I urge you to carefully examine all of your other options, before making the commitment to move mom in!